Wednesday, May 23, 2007

very scary

I had a very frightening experience this afternoon; one which I hope to never go through again. It all started around noon. I was at work and I had been fine all morning when suddenly I got struck with a horrible headache. It came on so suddenly and it was in a small concentrated part of my head -- right behind my left eye. And it didn't feel like your typical headache (at least not like any of my typical headaches). I don't get headaches very often, but I know weird when I feel it. I can't explain it. Anyway, I took Advil almost immediately but before that kicked in my vision started getting strange. I was looking at my paperwork on my desk and I knew there was a set of numbers but I couldn't see them all; some of them were just missing. I also couldn't see out of my peripheral vision. I could only see straight ahead; if I wanted to look somewhere else, I had to move my head to do it. I also was feeling weak and shaky and didn't trust myself to walk.

Shortly after 12:30 a couple of my friends wanted to go eat lunch. I figured going to eat might help me feel better. I told them that I was feeling really weird though and after I explained what I was feeling they made sure that I made it up the stairs to the lunchroom okay. Anyway, after a few minutes I thought I was starting to feel a change; my headache was slowly starting to go away. But then things got really weird...I couldn't speak properly. I was talking and my words got all mixed up, I was stumbling over what I was saying and some words I was trying to say I just couldn't say properly. I tried over and over again to say what I was trying to say, but my mouth just couldn't say them the right way. I have no idea what I even said, I just know that it wasn't what I was trying to say. The girls just stared at me like they didn't know what to do. I then started to freak out and started crying and saying over and over "I can't even say my words, I can't even say my words. What's wrong with me?" They started saying that they should take me to the hospital but I tried to tell them that my headache was doing better. But again, I couldn't get the words out properly. They asked me if they should go get my dad (who works with me) but I told them he probably wouldn't be around. He's usually only in the office in the mornings and then he's out on site for most of the rest of the day. But one girl went to go check just in case -- and thank God he was actually there. It was meant to be. Not that the girls couldn't have taken me in but I felt better having my dad there. My dad came rushing to my side and again I tried to talk and things just weren't coming out properly. I was really freaking out. I tried to ask Dawn to go get my purse from my desk, but I couldn't say the word "purse". Thankfully she knew what I meant and she rushed to get it and told my boss that I was leaving (I'm sure she explained more to him later). She's such a sweetheart though. She had tears in her eyes and she gave me a hug and a kiss before my dad and I left.

Anyway, I started being able to talk better on the way to the hospital but there were still some issues. I could at least pronounce all my words properly, but I was still stumbling over what I was saying and I often had to stop and think about how to say something before I said it. I was really scared. When we got to the hospital, it was the same thing when I was trying to explain what was going on. And when I was being asked things about myself (like my address and phone number) I had to really concentrate on what they were asking me and most of my responses began with a pause as I tried to register everything and make my mouth speak. I knew what I wanted to say, but it was as if my brain just wasn't connecting properly.

I didn't have to wait very long to see a doctor, even though there were lots of people who were there before me. I guess the sudden onset of the headache accompanied by my speach problems were enough to put me at a higher priority level. My mom then came to stay with me so my dad could go back to work, since we had no idea how long I would've had to wait. After seeing the doctor it was decided that I was to have a CT-scan. He figured it was most likely just a bad migraine that affected my vision and speach but he wanted to be on the safe side (bless is heart!). Basically they were doing the CT-scan to rule out a brain anneurism or a stroke. How scary is that?

It was a long wait for the CT-scan though and I tried to rest and stay fairly calm, which I was pretty successful in doing -- until the scan actually started. I thought it would be worse though. I thought it was where my whole body would have to be in a tunnel-like thing; but luckily it was just my head that had to go under. I'm very claustrophobic though, so even that freaked me out. It wasn't a very long procedure -- probably only about 2 minutes -- but I cried the whole time through it. Not necessarily even all due to the fact of actually getting the CT-scan, but more about the potential of what could be happening to me. I was so scared of it being a stroke or an anneurism that I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face.

Luckily we didn't have to wait very long to get the CT results. And I am happy and very relieved to say that the CT-scan showed up clean. PRAISE THE LORD!! So the doctor is just assuming that it was a migraine. He said most everybody will have at least one in their lifetime. This could be the only one I ever have, or I could get more of them eventually. Since this is something that I have never struggled with before, I'm sure hoping it was only a one-time thing. But at least if it does happen again, I won't freak out quite as much. Although not being able to speak properly is just plain freaky never mind if you know what's causing it or not. I feel silly for wasting an entire afternoon in the hospital over a migraine -- but the doctor was glad that I had come in could've just as easily have gone the other way.

My mom and dad had called a few people to request prayer who had also called a few people to request prayer -- so I knew I had a lot of support and encoragement which helped me get through it. I'm just glad that it's all over now. I just have a very dull headache but it's not in the same area as before -- it's more of a "norma" headache, so I'm thinking this is just from all of the stress from the afternoon. I was at the hospital probably by 1:30 and it was 4:30 by the time I left. Not bad when you think about it. I'm so glad that I had my wonderful parents close by who were both willing to drop whatever they were doing for me. And I'm also so grateful for my wonderful friends at work who didn't make light of what was happening; but rather took fast action to make sure I was getting the medical attention that I needed.


Erin said...

Yikes!!! That's freaky. I'm so glad you're okay. It's scary when things just happen to our bodies and we have no control or no idea what's going on. Thank goodness we have people who pray for us and take good care of us.

Tara said...

Thank goodness you are okay, I was actually crying when I was reading it, I was so worried. Now I can realx again.