Tuesday, October 9, 2007

a fresh perspective

I love fall. Correction -- I love fall when it's done MY way. I love the smell of it and the special feel of it in the air. I love the beautiful colours of the leaves (although I don't get to see that on a regular basis since there are no trees in our new neighborhood yet). And I love being able to wear jeans, sweaters and socks & shoes.

But what I don't love is being on the edge of winter. I don't love the blustery winds (which are really nasty out here, due to the aforementioned lack of trees for shelter). And I don't love the COLD temperatures -- I like cool, not cold. And I especially do not love the d-r-e-a-r-i-n-e-s-s that has been upon us for the last several days.

I used to love this type of weather. Maybe not quite this cold, but I loved the clouds and the rain. I didn't need to see the sun to feel happy and upbeat. I actually preferred the clouds to the sunny days (I know, I'm strange). But as I've mentioned before, that all changed after my post-pardum issues when Malia was born. Now the heaviness sets in very easily after a day or two of this dreary type of weather. Gone is my love for cloudy, rainy days. In its place is resentment, loneliness and discouragement (hence the reason for my Activity Menu challenge I posted about a few weeks ago -- which, by the way it's not too late to join...click here for details).

Today on my way to my mom's to pick up the girls after work was no different. I looked around me at all of the clouds, seemingly endless, and I was feeling down. A few minutes into my drive I looked out my window for no particular reason and I saw the most beautiful sight. A brilliantly bright rainbow. Nothing cures a discouraged spirit like a rainbow. At least for me. I couldn't stop looking at it, even as I continued driving. I was drawn to it and I was filled with an incredible sense of peace.

I felt God's presence in that rainbow.

(picture above is from a different time)

I was given a fresh perspective. Sure, the weather may be dark and dreary at times (this is only the beginning...) and it may feel hopeless. But rainbows are a sign of hope. A sign that God is present, if only we seek Him. A smile returned to my face as I continued on my drive.

After having supper at my parents' place and I was driving home, I was surprised at how the feeling of discouragement quickly returned. Gloomy clouds were as far as the eye could see. I found myself turning my head in all directions, looking for another rainbow to give me encouragement and peace.

But there wasn't one in sight.

I reminded myself that I may not always be able to see the rainbow. But as long as I'm seeking Him, I will find God...even in the clouds.

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