Wednesday, November 14, 2007

feeling the pressure

Sometimes the pressure of having kids is really overwhelming to me. I try to take it day to day, but sometimes I get almost panicky when I think about all the responsibilities involved. Today was such a day.

Les and I are responsible for their entire well-beings. We are responsible for making sure they eat healthy, making sure they are bathed and brush their teeth, have clean clothes that fit them, getting them to bed at decent times to get the rest that they need, teaching them right from wrong, encouraging them when they do right and disciplining them when they do wrong. We are responsible for what they watch on TV and we dictate how they spend their time and who they spend it with.

We are responsible to lead them to faith, to teach them to keep an open mind, to not be judgemental, to love even their enemies.

We are responsibile to teach them honesty, respect, courage and kindness. We are responsible to teach them responsibility.

Aside from all of that, we are also responsible to get them to school, teach them the value of money, assign them chores around the house and teach them how to interact with others. We need to give them guidance yet teach them independence.

W-H-O-A-!-! What a job! And we have to do this for how many years? I don't know about any of you other parents out there, but some days I really feel the pressure!

Sometimes I dream of a s-i-m-p-l-e-r time. When all I had to concern myself with was me. When I only had to make sure that I made my car payments and that I got to work on time. When it was up to me to go to church and when I could decide for myself how much money I could spend going out to eat or buying clothes at the mall. When I could sleep in as long as I wanted on Saturday with no other obligations during the day. When I could turn the TV on at any given time in the day and not worry about younger eyes and ears seeing and hearing things too mature for them. When I could sit down to a meal and not have to cut food up for anybody or blow it to proper temperatures. When I only had to worry about my own bodily functions.

Yes, I often dream of when things were easier. But were things necessarily better? Maybe some things. But definitely not all.

I didn't have a husband to help me make the car payments or someone to wake up next to (even if it's earlier on a Saturday than what I would like!). I didn't have chubby little arms wrapping themselves around my neck with little voices saying "I love you, Mommy." I didn't have silly 'knock-knock' jokes at the dinner table, and I didn't have kids belting out beautiful songs (however off-key they may be) to Jesus in the back of the car.

Yes, there's a lot of pressure in raising children. And yes -- I'm e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d. But my life is full of love and laughter and I choose to concentrate on that when the days get a little too overwhelming.


Pamela said...

lol! I`ve been in this role so long that I can hardly remember when it was just me that I had to take care of! Hang onto the good stuff and remember..that this too shall pass and then you`ll try and remember these times!

Louise said...

Well written girl!! I totally get that! I do feel overwhelmed somedays and then I have to remember to stop and pray and believe that the Lord will also watch out for them and send people to cross their paths to help in the training!!! Afterall if it was just up to us how hopeless a feeling that would be eh?
And I am with you I wouldn't give up those hugs for anything!!!
Hugs to you girl!

amy said...

wonderful honest post and well appreciated..It makes we appreciate these times without children. I know my life is going to change when I bring LynnMarie home from China

Sheila said...

You just read my mind!! Yesterday, I was really battling those very thoughts! I was losing my patience faster than I should've! And poor Cohen got the brunt of my grouchiness. And for a brief moment I just wanted a break from being a mommy, a housewife, a cook...etc I just wanted to escape somewhere. But those feelings fade and I remembered how blessed my life really is!
Its nice to know that my feelings are normal! :) Thanks Andrea!

Kellan said...

Great post and I feel the pressure too - every single day. But, all in all - it's pretty darn wonderful! Take care.

Melanie said...

It is overwhelming. When you stop and think about all we have to do it can make one feel panicky.

But it's also so rewarding. I wouldn't give up the giggles and kisses for anything! Not even for a Saturday morning where I can sleep in and then spend the whole day at the mall looking at stuff for ME- without thinking that it's time to eat or get home for naptime. That USED to be my favorite thing to do- and I miss it- but I wouldn't take it back because of all I'd be missing out on.

andrea said...

thanks for listening...i have nothing to say right has been so hard(and quiet time hasn't been very quiet)...thanks for being there.

Pam said...

well said! I feel the same way! Raising kids is so totally overwhelming and so totally rewarding! It is the hardest and best thing in the world. You have put it out down so nicely!

Sharon said...

Yes--I can identify with this. Add to one complete family a father-in-law who is 92 and can you say over load? One day at a time, one day at a time. And when that becomes too much--one minute at a time.

zamejias said...

I can relate to this. I feel too exhausted and overwhelmed at times--with housework, responsibilities, yaddi, yadda..but I'll never trade my life now with what I used to have before the marriage and motherhood. :D

mama said...

so so true!