Sunday, January 20, 2008

never been kissed

Is anybody out there a fan of Amercan Idol? I admit -- I am. I like the whole thing; the beginning auditions -- the good, the bad and the ugly -- the top 32 (or 24, or whatever it is) and especially the top 10.

But as much as I love the unbelievably horrible auditions that they air -- seriously, what are some of those people thinking?? -- I had a huge problem with an incident that aired on the Wednesday night episode.

There was a 19 year old boy man guy who was trying out and he was talking to Ryan Seacrest before his audition about how he had never kissed a girl. And not because he hadn't had chances, I'm sure, seeing as he was not an unattractive guy. But he was saying that he was saving his first kiss for his bride on his wedding day.

He was there with his father and they were showing the set of necklaces that they were wearing. The 19 year old had a chain with a key on it and his father was wearing the other chain with a heart on it. There was a space missing in the heart; a space for the key to fit. The plan is that on this guy's wedding day, his dad will give the bride the heart necklace.

And on this special day, this husband and wife will share their very first kiss.

Sounds sweet, doesn't it? Okay, and maybe a bit cheesy. But I'm a firm believer in saving yourself for marriage -- at least as far as sex goes. Kissing is a bit different...but that's just my opinion. Obviously this guy felt otherwise. Anyway, this post isn't really about my beliefs on that topic. It's about how this guy was treated on the show for his moral stand.

Basically he was mocked for it.

First, the show made a mockery of him by how they portrayed what him and his dad were saying about the necklaces. They had cheesy love song music playing in the background and doing certain things in slow motion -- like having him and his dad match up the key with the heart. You could just tell that they were making fun of the whole situation. That already didn't sit well with me.

But it got worse.

As he headed into the audition room, the judges asked him a bit about himself and he began to tell them the same thing -- that he had never kissed a girl.

As this is a fairly abnormal thing, the judges were of course curious and they asked him why not? So he responded again by saying that he was saving his first kiss for his wedding day.

I can't remember Randy and Paula's reaction, but Simon's reaction couldn't have been clearer. He looked at this guy like he had completely lost his marbles. It was almost as if he looked disgusted.

Anyway, so this guy went on to sing and I thought he did a pretty good job. I would've given him his golden ticket to send him on to Hollywood. But none of the 3 judges put him through. And I had to wonder to myself if his moral stance on intimacy was part of the reason.

That's not what really bothered me though, since obviously I don't know if that's the reason. There have been other singers who I have thought did really well and they didn't put through. And there have also been singers who I thought did not do well enough, yet they did get put through.

My biggest problem was Randy's final comment to him as he left the audition room. After getting his negative response from all of the judges, he asked the simple question, "Do you have any advice for me?"

Randy Jackson looked at him, almost condescending-like and said "Yeah...kiss some girls."

And that was it.

I was thoroughly annoyed and bothered by this televised incident, and I still am several days later. I'm not saying that they should've all been in awe of his strength to hold off on his teenage raging hormones, or that they should've given him a standing ovation or anything like that (although I would've).

But to ridicule him like they did? I thought that was totally unnecessary.

And maybe I'm over-reacting, or reading too much into it. But with the way the world is today, with kids getting into sex at earlier and earlier ages, we should applaud those who make the decision to wait until marriage. I know it's getting more and more uncommon but it bothers me that it's getting to the point where it seems to be weird -- and even wrong -- for someone to actually decide to wait for their future spouse.

As a mother of two girls, I can only pray that they will be surrounded by friends and companions who have morals as strong as this young man.

And that they will be able to hold their head high, as this young man did, if they are the only ones in their school -- or seemingly the whole world -- who have never been kissed.


Xandra said...

You are so right...what a great post. I haven't watched American Idol in several years, and that sort of ridicule and behavior doesn't surprise me at all.

It's sad that this young man was made to feel ridiculous and cheesy for putting himself out there. Where or not you agree with someone, there's no reason to be mean.

Pam said...

That is really to bad that he was treated like that, esp on national television! Its all about the ratings right?!?

Rebecca said...

I applaud that young man for sticking to his convictions and even more for being so public about them. Though I'm not at all surprised at how it was edited or the how they mocked him. It's sad but reality of the world we live in. I don't watch American Idol, I saw some epis the first season or two maybe but nothing since then.

Jen said...

Very lame! Good for him for sticking to his morals. Although that's not the sort of thing you advertise on American Idol, they are notorious for ripping on people. If you don't want to be mocked for something, don't bring it up on that show!

ValleyGirl said...

I kinda agree with the last commenter -- if you put it out there, you have to be ready for people to do with it whatever they want. But you're right, there are way too few people who take any kind of a moral stand these days and you'd think the general public would be in awe of these people, rather than try to cow them into conformity. I guess it's a way of trying to make their own immorality seem less wrong. I DEFINITLY hope my girls find guys like him, too!!

amy said...

I was bothered by that as well..I have respect for the guy and his dad, but they clearly were determined to make a mockery out of them. Im sure many young people had heard of this before and Im sure this didnt help!

Andrea said...

Just because it may come as no surprise that he was mocked for it...would it have been better for him to have kept that bit of information to himself?

I'd say no.

He was obviously willing to take that risk to get his message across. That it is possible to stay sexually pure until marriage. These positive messages to our pre-teens and teens are so few and far between...they need all the help they can get!

And if this one guy was able to accomplish making even ONE young teenager make the same decision -- KUDOS to him.

Just because you may think you're probably going to get mocked for something, doesn't mean you should keep it to yourself.

I don't think he should be held at all responsible for how the show made a mockery of him.

Jamie said...

I agree with you, Andrea. And had I seen the show, I'm sure I would have felt very bad for him too.

Mango Marie said...

I'm just not into AI any more. I guess I don't like the "make fun of people" attitude and this is a great example.

Poor guy.

Livin' With Me said...

I haven't been watching American Idol this year- mostly because I just don't have time. But this is really sad. A teenage guy who wants has great moral standards being made fun of instead of being praised.

I would want my daughter to date a guy like him. Someone who is concentrating on getting to know her, rather than what most teenage guys concentrate on.

Leeann said...

Amen! I thought they were so mean to him!
It's rare to see a young man with such high standards and morals. When did that become "taboo"?

Pam said...

I'm an Idol fan...though I don't like it in the beginning. I hate that they mock people - which you did a great job of writing this post - and I hate that they televise those just being stupid/silly just to get on tv. I wish they won't humor those people and would not air that stuff.

Sharon said...

I have a second cousin who did not kiss anyone until he asked his to be bride to marry him. He took her to a castle and proposed to her. When she said yes-she had never kissed anyone either--they kissed for the first time.

Seeing things like that on T.V makes me just want to smack someone. Honestly I would like to give them a piece of my mind. I did not see this but it makes me made just thinking about it.
I don't know if the guy is a Christian but I pray that he holds his ground.

Karen (Pediascribe) said...

My kids thought it was cheesy that the DAD was wearing the heart. They thought it'd be better if it was tucked away somewhere for the wife. Does she really want to wear a necklace that's been around a big, sweaty guy's neck for years? ick.
Anyway, AI is notorious for picking on people, yet people line up to be picked on. I really don't like it when they make fun of people who have obviously got a diagnosable mental illness. If they are the least bit slow or unstable, that is fodder for them to pick on them. So not right.
But it is about ratings for them.

Lisa said...

Off putting for me as well. :o(

Julie said...

Hey, Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Yes, I agree with you on the Amer. Idol audition.
I really felt like they didn't pick the guy because of his moral standards. It really bugged me as I felt like he did a good job too, at least as well as some of the people they picked.

It felt like they judged him based on his morals instead of his singing.

Thanks again for stopping by.