You won't very often read posts about my weight or even hear me talk about it much (unless you are a very close friend). I don't want to get in the habit of obsessing about my weight and therefore impressing it on my girls that weight is such a huge issue. Sure, it's important to be healthy -- but stressing and obsessing about any extra poud or two (or even twenty or thirty) is completely another thing. My girls will never hear me call myself fat.
But today my post is about my weight.
I have always struggled with my weight, although when I look back at my wedding pictures just 6 1/2 short years ago...I would l-o-v-e to look like that again.
And no -- it's not because of having kids that I weigh what I do (although it certainly changed my shape). Both times I lost all of my baby weight within a month of giving birth. But it was my own lack of self-discipline that made me gain a lot of it back.
I have never really tried any weight-loss programs or anything. But I have often tried to get in a regular exercise routine and even to eat right (although I struggle with the eating part more than exercising). But after a short while, I start to lose my self-discipline again and my resolve becomes very short-lived -- or I put my back out like I did the last two summers. Once I get out of my routine, it's very hard to get back into it.
Awhile ago I was watching an episode of Dr. Phil where there was this quite over-weight woman on the show -- on fact, I think she would even fall under the obsese category. Dr. Phil said he knew why she was over-weight and asked her if she wanted to know why. She said yes, of course -- and he looked her right in the eye and very boldly said:
"Because you want to be."
She looked at him with wild disbelief. I looked at him with wild disbelief. What on earth was he talking about? She most definitley did NOT want to be that over-weight. She looked miserable.
But then he explained what he meant and I realized he was absolutely right. She was -- with her bad choices and habits -- choosing to be overweight. She rather wanted to eat at McDonald's every day (yes, you read that right -- EVERY! DAY! -- and more than that, every meal of every day!) than be thin. She rather wanted to not excercise than be thin.
What it all came down to was that she wanted all of the other bad habits in her life more than she wanted to lose weight.
Now, I am by no means obese -- nor do I eat eat McDonald's three times a day -- but I do know I could stand to lose...well, I could stand to lose a few pounds.
I don't want to be somebody who chooses to be over-weight. If I have a choice about it -- and I most certainly do -- than I want to choose something else. I want to choose excercising and being a bit more careful about what I eat.
Last week I started getting up at 7am to work out before the kids get up. It's hard to drag myself out of bed -- since I am far from a morning person -- but once I'm downstairs and I'm working up a sweat, it's a wonderful feeling. It really is a great way to start the day.
So, my new resolve is to wake up at 7 o'clock every weekday morning (other than the mornings that I go to work) to do my cardio work out. Then in the afternoons I also want to do a pilates work out. AND...on Monday after my pilates, I even jogged on the spot for 10 minutes, which I would like to make a regular thing as well. And I hate anything remotely to do with running; I am not a runner by any means. But it felt so good to do it. Then on days when I do have to go to work, rather than doing my cardio in the morning I want to go for a good power walk in the evening like I did yesterday.
I need to do at least 1/2 an hour of some form of excercise every day, if not more.
I have barely begun this new choice, but I'm already thoroughly enjoying it. In fact, yesterday when I went to work, I was actually disappointed that I couldn't do my cardio work-out (a good sign).
Not only am I making a good choice for me -- but more importantly, I am making a good choice for my daughters. Right now they may not always see me work out first thing in the morning (although Joelle sometimes is awake and I tell her I'm going downstairs to excercise so she can play in her room until I'm done), but it won't be long and they'll be up that early too getting ready for school and they will witness my dedication to excercising on a daily basis. Or at the very least, they will hear me talk about it and know that it's a regular part of my life. I want to be a good example for my children just as much -- if not more -- than I want to do this for myself.
So, my goal in numbers? I'm going to start small so I don't overwhelm myself. My first goal that I want to reach -- with no specific time-line right now -- is 13 pounds. Once I lose that weight, I will be back to the weight I was before I ever got pregnant. From there, I'll create a new goal...and so on until I reach my final goal.
I won't post about my progress too much -- but I will set up something on my sidebar to trak my progress so you can keep up with it if you are interested.
It's time for a new choice for me. What about you?