Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Some days that's how I feel.
Well -- truth be told -- that's how I feel a lot of days.
Too many days.

For something -- but for what, I'm not exactly sure.
At least not yet.
Maybe one day...

It's something that I give.
Yet I feel I do not get enough of it in return.
At least not from some of the people who should be giving it to me the most.
Because I deserve it.

It's what I thrive upon.
It's my love language that many people do not know how to speak.
Yet the ones who do -- they don't know just how much I treasure them.

It's not a fun way to feel.
Yet it's so common.
For me and for many others.
Even though I have a good life.

I give it.
I receive it.
I cherish it.
I need it.
I wish it for everyone.

That's me.
I bet that's you too.
Is there even a remedy for that?

It used to be such a big part of my life.
Yet now when it happens it feels so foreign.
But so wonderfully delightful.
I wish it happened more often.

Everybody has it.
Not everybody likes to admit it.
I'll admit it -- I'm scared.
Of a lot of things.

It's hard.
It's damn hard.
One day at a time is all I know how to do.
And sometimes even that is too much.

It's a technique.
I believe we all have it.
It's just whether or not we choose to use it.
For me there is no other choice.
I choose survival.

He exists.
He really does.
I believe it with my whole heart.
I claim that truth and cling to it with all of my might.

It also exists.
Because God exists.
With God there is always hope.
Don't believe me?
Sometimes I don't believe myself either.
But whether or not I believe it -- it doesn't change the fact that it's true.


Kelly said...

You have a great way with words!

Anonymous said...

Wow, that was pretty powerful! And they way it was presented (visually) was awesome.

Pam said...

you could have been describing me!

ValleyGirl said...

And that's the whole crux of faith ~ believing despite not feeling.

Can you feel the cyber-hug I'm giving you right now? Squeeze a little tighter ~ there you go, you got it!!

Jenn said...

You say it so well. Love you lots.

jackie said...

oh andrea... maybe we need to have a chat. i'm praying for you. love ya.

andrea said...

that is a beautiful poem and good use of words to help me understand how you feel and are going thru. prayers for you today!

Xandra@Heart-of-Service said...

Keep believing even when you don't feel it. I'm praying for you...


Roo said...

love you sweet girl.

melanie said...

Were you peeking into my head when you wrote that? I feel so sad and so scared all of the time. I can just hardly stand how terrible I feel.

I miss the laughing too. I hardly ever do it.

TammyIsBlessed said...

"Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see"

And sometimes it's so hard.

Praying for you, dear sister of mine.

Joanna said...

Oh that was good!! Very well said. And I related to it all.