Some days that's how I feel.
Well -- truth be told -- that's how I feel a lot of days.
Too many days.
For something -- but for what, I'm not exactly sure.
At least not yet.
Maybe one day...
It's something that I give.
Yet I feel I do not get enough of it in return.
At least not from some of the people who should be giving it to me the most.
Because I deserve it.
It's what I thrive upon.
It's my love language that many people do not know how to speak.
Yet the ones who do -- they don't know just how much I treasure them.
It's not a fun way to feel.
Yet it's so common.
For me and for many others.
Even though I have a good life.
I give it.
I receive it.
I cherish it.
I need it.
I wish it for everyone.
I bet that's you too.
Is there even a remedy for that?
It used to be such a big part of my life.
Yet now when it happens it feels so foreign.
But so wonderfully delightful.
I wish it happened more often.
Everybody has it.
Not everybody likes to admit it.
I'll admit it -- I'm scared.
Of a lot of things.
It's damn hard.
One day at a time is all I know how to do.
And sometimes even that is too much.
It's a technique.
I believe we all have it.
It's just whether or not we choose to use it.
For me there is no other choice.
I choose survival.
He really does.
I believe it with my whole heart.
I claim that truth and cling to it with all of my might.
It also exists.
Because God exists.
With God there is always hope.
Don't believe me?
Sometimes I don't believe myself either.
But whether or not I believe it -- it doesn't change the fact that it's true.