Tuesday, May 12, 2009

more on mothers

I have a pet peeve, and I figured since it was just Mother's Day, this might be an appropriate time for me to bring it up.

I believe that mothers are heros. Bringing a child into this world is no easy task, and women are AMAZING for doing what they do. And right now I'm not even talking about raising a child; just the actual labour and delivery.

Are you all with me so far?

Okay, so when did it get turned into a competition? You all have been in a conversation where it's happened -- and probably all of us (myself included) have, at one point, been the one to try to one-up someone else with our own birth stories.

"I did it without any drugs!"
"I pushed for 4 hours!"
"My baby was almost 10 pounds!"
"I laboured for almost 30 hours!"
"I was 2 weeks overdue!"

(None of these are direct quotes from anybody...I'm just using them as examples.)

I get bothered when birth conversations turn into these kinds of competitions. We all have a story to tell -- and I love hearing other people's stories -- but each story is a miracle. All babies are miracles, and every mother who bears a child is a hero.

This is true whether your child was 4 pounds or 10 pounds. If you had a vaginal delivery or a c-section. If you were in labour for 2 hours or for 20 hours. If you had an epidural, or did it all drug-free. Everybody's story is unique; everybody's pain tolerance level is different; everybody's experience is one-of-a-kind.

So rather than try to one-up each other, why don't we just celebrate with one another that we have been blessed with the world's greatest treasures!!


Kris said...

You are right on with this one. Another thing moms ---- when the mom is in labor, that is not the time to tell your big competition story, especially if it was a really bad, difficult labor.

Jamie said...

I agree! I really dislike when every time mothers talk about anything to do with their children (birth or other things) it always seems to turn into competition. I try so hard not to jump in when the conversation steers that way.

melanie said...

And it doesn't end there! Then we have to compete about who breast fed for the longest, who stays home vs. going to work, etc. Then we compete over sports and grades. It never ends. Why not just support each other as we all do our best at the most difficult job in the world!

TammyIsBlessed said...

Support instead of competition - what a novel idea!

Preach on sister!

Xandra@Heart-of-Service said...

Amen, sister!

andrea said...

i do agree!well said!

Anonymous said...

I agree Andrea.
I love hearing other mom's birthing stories.
Great post.

Kathy and Carl said...

It's kind of sad to constantly compare. I've been part of those awful one-up sessions on who laboured the longest, who did it drug free...until one quiet voice reminded the competitors that someone in the crowd adopted and this conversation, already damaging, was hurting her.

You're right, lets just support each other!

Erin said...

Agreed. Why must it be a competition? Don't we do that enough in life?

MamaGeek @ Works For Us said...

I offer an A-MEN SISTER!

Gin said...


Rebecca said...

Totally agreed!

Louise said...

AMEN..SO true!!
All miracles to be sure ;)