It's that time of year again -- my annual girl's shopping weekend in Fargo. This will be my third year going (click here for my maiden voyage, and here for my 2nd trip) and I have been looking forward to this since...well, since the minute I got home from last year's trip.
There's just one problem: I have this nagging paranoia that something is going to stand in the way of me going on this trip.
I go through this every year. Tiny seeds of doubt start being planted a few weeks ahead of time. As the trip gets nearer, I even have moments of almost-panic. Then the day before the trip (which would be today in this case), I start getting butterflies in my stomach. And the day of the scheduled departure (which would be tomorrow in this particular event) I get down-right anxious.
I don't really know what my problem is. Perhaps it's because I think it all sounds too good to be true -- an entire weekend with just girlfriends, and the only items on the agenda are to eat out, shop and relax in the hot tub. I can leave my wife & mother mode behind for an entire weekend.
For some reason I only allow myself to really relax once the car is pulling out of the driveway and we are officially on our way.
Earlier this month (or actually last month, I guess it was) was when the first seed of doubt was planted. With the new border-crossing changes, I was in need of a passport to drive across the Canada/US border. So even though I applied in plenty of time, until I actually had my passport in my own two hands, there was always a small seed of doubt that perhaps I wouldn't get it in time and I would be prevented from going.
And then within the past couple of weeks, there have been sicknesses swirling around this neighborhood like you would not believe -- and we have had a small taste of some of these said sicknesses. So of course there is the paranoia that something will come up with either me or the kids where I will be detained from going.
Then there was the whole flooding situation that was happening down in Fargo and surrounding areas. Would that now keep us from being able to get to our destination? Thankfully that no longer seems to be posing a threat, so we should be in the clear as far as that goes.
Since my car-full of ladies is leaving early afternoon tomorrow, I had the issue of finding child care for my girls until Les gets home from work. Thankfully, with the generous help of a neighbour, that is taken care of. But what if *they* come down with something and will be unable to take the kids? **Edited to add: And currently I am trying to find alternate arrangements for the first half of the time, as my original plans fell through.** ***Edited AGAIN to add: Everything has been worked out -- T-30 minutes till I am outta here!!***
Or maybe all of the others planning to go with me will back out last-minute. Either due to finances, illness, or other events that were previously unforeseeable. Last year we had 2 -- and almost 3 -- people back out last minute, and it soon became a very real fear to me that it could potentially happen. Even though we are 7 girls and the chances of everybody not being able to make it are slim to none...it's still a thought I have had before.
It's so frustrating to have this awful and unrealistic feeling of paranoia constantly hanging over my head. It's ruining all of the fun anticipation of the upcoming weekend. I need to stop worrying about anything that could possibly go wrong and just r-e-l-a-x.
My weekend will happen. I will get my much-needed break. Nothing's gonna stop us...I hope.