I have made a decision this weekend. One that must have been steeping in the back of my head for awhile, but only really came to the surface last night.
I am going to quit watching my CSI:, CSI Miami and Criminal Minds shows. Yup. I'm giving them up starting right now.
As much as these shows fascinate me, what good are they really doing me? (I'm sure I could say that about all of the other shows that I watch too -- i.e. Grey's Anatomy, Big Bang Theory, Cougar Town, etc. -- but right now I'm focusing on these types of shows.) Every week I tune in and every week it's the same thing.
Freaky crimes. Horrible feelings. Awful imaginations.
I'm not saying we need to (or are even capable of) turning a blind eye to all of the horrific things that happen in our world -- but there are enough real-life scenarios happening that I don't need to bother with the fictatious ones.
It's not that I even really stay focused on these TV-depicted crimes long after I've watched the episode. I don't sleep with one eye open or live my life in constant paranoia (well, there was this one exception). But I do cringe many times during each episode and my gut gets filled with dread and anxiety -- especially in the episodes that involve young children.
That's probably the kicker for me. Anytime I watch a show that involves heinous crimes against a young child, I am left with a severely unsettling feeling. I always play the 'what if' game in my mind. What if that happened to my kids? How would Joelle react if she was abducted and held against her will? What would happen to Malia if she suffered from one of these nasty acts? How would either of them ever move on from such a tragedy...if they were, in fact, alive after the fact.
I don't sit there and think that one of my children will be the next victim to such a serious crime...but it does remind me that even though these episodes are fiction (or perhaps loosely based on real events), there are real live children that do face such situations each and every day.
And it's just getting to be too much for this mama heart to watch. I just can't do it anymore. And that is why I am pulling the plug on these TV shows.