I haven't been around much lately.
I'm struggling with a lot of things right now. Things that I wish I could just speak up about, but something is holding me back. My dislike of confrontation is the main culprit for my silence -- especially given the treasured friendship that I very abruptly lost about a year and a half ago.
I think that experience has crippled me in all of my other relationships.
But regardless of the what the why and the who, I am left feeling disconnected. Unsettled. Insecure. Defensive. Withdrawn. Fake.
I don't know where to go from here; I don't know how to work past this feeling. I long to find a sense of peace and understanding. Of hope and joy.
This isn't my depression making a return (at least if it is, it has disguised itself in a very different mask this time), but I am unsure of what exactly it is and definitely of how to resolve it.