Friday, March 11, 2011

give it up: part II

**This is what I posted on my weekly Mission: Possible post today. It was going into more detail about my Lent decision, so I wanted to re-post it here since the majority of my readers don't follow the other blog. Some of the information will be an overlap from Wednesday's post, but some of it is new.**

For the next several weeks, things are going to be a lot different around here! On my main Lifesong blog, I posted on Wednesday that I was giving something up for Lent.

My scale.

Eeek! I'm not sure if you really understand just how scary this whole idea is for me. That's 46 days of no safety net underneath me! And when I'm used to checking in 4-6 times a day (minimum!), this will be a huge thing for me. I will be flying blind!

I am going to use this time, though, as a reminder to myself of where my self-worth comes from. It doesn't come from the number on the scale, that's for sure. I know I often fool myself into thinking that it does...but it's a big, fat lie! My self-worth comes from my Heavenly Father, and this is what I'm going to focus on when I'm going crazy with temptation to find out what I weigh.

There are a few details about this whole giving-up-the-scale business that I've been thinking about over the past couple of days. One of them is: Do I allow myself to check in on Sundays, as that is often proposed to be the designated "day off" from whatever it is you are 'fasting' from, or do I go the entire 46 days straight? I had asked for a bit of feed-back from my regular readers on my original blog and I got mixed opinions.

But I have decided to go straight through the 46 days without checking in at all. I think if I allow myself to weigh-in on Sundays, it won't be nearly as big of a sacrifice (despite the fact that I'd already be skipping 20-25 checks throughout each week!). I think by going without it the entire time, it will allow me to have a deeper re-connection with God as I learn to rely solely on Him in this area of insecurities.

The other thing that was suggested to me that I considered was to have Les hide the scale on me. I thought about it (only briefly) and quickly decided against it. Here again, I don't want to take the 'easy' way out. Afterall, if the scale gets hidden on me, I'm not really choosing every day to stick to my decision; I'd be left without a choice. I want the daily reminder that I am deciding to give this up, and that each and every day I am following through with it. Not because I am forced to because the scale has been taken away from me, but because I want to.

So the scale will remain in the bathroom where it always is. A constant reminder for the next 46 days. And while I am already more than curious as to my current weight (especially given the fact that today is official weigh-in day!), I am already enjoying the sense of freedom this has been giving me.

Now, I can see this going one of two ways though. Scenario #1 has me enjoying the freedom a bit too much and slowly falling into bad habits that will result in a not-so-pleasant reunion with the scale on Easter Sunday. With nothing to really hold me accountable, this danger is certainly possible.

But Scenario #2 is what I'm going for. Where, yes, I enjoy the freedom from the scale...but where I push myself to still work hard so that I feel a real sense of victory when I step on the scale again after 46 days. Learning to look to God for my self-worth doesn't mean that I can abandon my healthy choices and let weight creep back up on me. Yes, I will still be worth just as much at any weight, but it doesn't mean that it's okay to start going back to old ways. It doesn't mean that I can't still fight for those last few pounds.

So with my new decision to increase my number of work-outs per week (see #5 at the bottom of this post), and having just acquired Jillian Michaels' new Ripped in 30 DVD...I am equipped with what I need to have success at the end of this 46 day period.

I took my measurements yesterday, and will re-measure again only after Lent as well. And who knows...I may even see myself getting back into the 130's when all is said and done!

I still plan on doing weekly posts on this blog to keep me accountable for the choices I am making and to post about how this is impacting me emotionally and spiritually. So be sure to keep checking back every Friday even though there won't be any actual numbers to report!

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