**I posted this on my Mission:Possible blog this morning and wanted to share it here as well.**
I have made a decision this week. Actually, I tried to make this decision last week already -- but after presenting the idea to someone and it was met with a not-so-positive reaction, I ditched the thought.
Until I realized that by letting someone else's opinion control my decision (a decision that affects me and me alone), I was still being swayed by what other people might think of me. And since the whole point behind giving up my scale for Lent was to learn to NOT have that be my truth...well, I revisited the decision.
So after much thought, prayer and reflection -- until I reached the point of being completely at peace with this idea no matter what other people would think of it -- I have decided to start allowing myself to weigh-in on Sundays.
I may be doing extremely well with ignoring the scale -- in fact, I am amazed at how much I have changed in these two-and-a-half weeks already. I was being honest in my last week's post when I said it was great to not have to constantly be ruled by the number on the scale. I definitely am well on my way to not contributing the scale's number to my self-worth.
But on the other hand, I don't want to sabatoge all -- or ANY -- of the work I did over the past almost two years to get to this point.
So I am trying to make a distinction between the two. I'm not saying that if I were to gain weight over the course of Lent (without weighing myself at all in between), I would go back to letting the number control me again. But I don't think it's wrong of me to still ensure that I don't gain weight.
Since I've been maintaining (as of September), I have found that even with my multiple-checks-a-day on the scale it was hard to not go up a pound over the course of a week (before working it off the next week only to have to try to not let that pound creep back up on me the following week again). So my fear is that even while I'm working hard with regular work-outs (about twice as much as I was doing before this Lent decision) and trying to keep my eating habits the same (although I know I have been slacking a bit in this area)...without ANY checking up on the scale, it's quite possible that I could gain 1-2 pounds in a week.
With that math, over the course of a 7 week Lent period...the possibility of a 7-14 pound gain was just not something I was willing to face. Chances are it wouldn't have gotten that bad, but I didn't want to risk it.
I am quite confident that I can do both things at once -- give myself a weekly check-in to keep me on track and continue the journey of discovering where my self-worth comes from.
I will not be posting any weigh-in results during the remainder of the Lent season though. These Sunday check-ins will be between me and God. And in fact, I was considering keeping the whole checking-in part between me and God as well -- but I wanted to be honest and up-front with what I was doing.
So that is my decision this week. It was a struggle to get here, but now that I have arrived I feel really good about it. Thoughts are welcome...