Thursday, March 31, 2011

'march mania: day 31' once again meets 'thankful thursday'

{the best thing about being you}
...with a slight rabbit trail

I think the best thing about being me is knowing that I have eternal salvation. What else could be better than resting in the knowledge that when life on earth ends, I have the open arms of my Heavenly Father waiting to welcome me into Heaven for the rest of eternity?

I'll be honest that the thought of that has always terrified me though. I know that sounds like I'm contradicting what I just finished saying about nothing being better than that. But it's all true. As much as I love having the faith that I have and about what happens when this life ends, it's terrifying to me all at the same time.

I'll explain.

I have always had a very strong fear of dying -- or even of Jesus coming back while I'm still on this earth. And not only a fear of death, but fear about eternity. My mind simply cannot fathom the thought of being up in heaven for eternity. With no end. How in the world is this even possible? Forever and ever and ever...and ever?!?

Growing up, I would often get my mind worked up about this very thing and I remember countless times going to my parents' room at night crying about it, all in a panic. They would pray with me and get me relaxed, and I'd go back to bed and distract myself from the thought and then was finally able to get back to sleep. Even as an adult I have had this happen to me from time to time. Not where I go to my parents' bedside anymore, obviously, but where I seriously get myself freaked out thinking about it and have to force myself to calm down.

So how does this match up with what I said in the beginning? Because even though my human mind cannot comprehend the idea, at least I know that while I am going to be spending eternity somewhere...it's going to be up in Heaven. I may not understand the how, but I am assured of the where.

I am so thankful to be able to say that I am a child of God; I am saved. And when my time on this earth is over, I will be with Jesus forever...and ever...and ever. And then and only then will I be able to grasp the concept of eternity.

So the best thing about being me is my faith. What else compares to that?

1 comment:

pam said...

I had the same fear growing up. Even still, it's something that my mind just can't comprehend. But like you said, it's the 'where' that matters most.