Tuesday, September 13, 2011

da' funk

I think I'm in a funk.

Not a blogging funk - but a life funk. Where I feel let down in so many ways, and where I feel like a let-down in many others.

Stemming from that funk is my desire to give up on a lot of things. Not big important things - like my family and friends or anything like that. But things that aren't really a big deal. Things that maybe have been controlling me when they shouldn't. Or things that have just been consuming me that I need to let go.

And that I have the power to do so.

One way I am giving up on things is to get rid of a bunch of items on my list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. I don't know how often (if ever) any of you click on that link (you can also find it at the top of my blog; just under my Lifesong header), but my goal was to update it once a week. Don't get me wrong - I think the idea of that list is great, but I am getting tired of the items on the list that make me have to keep track of everything so carefully.

Like, did I shave my legs last week? Or was there an item of baked goodies in the freezer on a Sunday night? Or did I read one book in the past three weeks - or two? And did I remember to update it on Sunday evening before going to bed, or is it Thursday and still not updated?

Does it even matter??

Like I said - I think having a list of things to accomplish is a good thing. But I'd rather just have a list of goals that once I've reached them, I've reached them. Did I organize my bathroom cupboards? Or did I crochet my daughters new blankets? Did I get my filing up to date? Did I memorize a Royal Conservatory piano piece? Or did I drive to Grand Forks just to eat supper at Paradiso?

You know, goals that can be measured with a simple yes or no (or at minimum an 'in progress').

But rather, with all of the items on my list that have me keeping track, I am not only constantly having to remember how many times I did such-and-such...but I am also constantly reminded of how I have failed to complete my mission for that particular week (or month). It can get a bit discouraging.

So I have gone over my list and marked all of the ones that require counting and keeping track in red. They are still things I can strive to do - like bring people home-cooked meals, or have family games nights on a somewhat regular basis - but I don't need to feel forced to fit so-and-so many into a certain time span.

And it feels sort of free-ing to be able to let that go.

3 comments:

LaughingLady said...

I had "da funk" very recently, too. I think it's pretty much behind me now, but my blog hasn't quite recovered yet. I can't tell if there's just nothing in my head to write about or too MANY things! (I'm choosing to believe it's the latter!!!)

These funks are not the part of life's ebb and flow that I enjoy, but I think I'm beginning to realize there IS some value in them. Because they make me crave God more.

I hope it's working that way for you, too. ♥

I totally get what you're doing with the list ~ I think that's why I gave up on my list a LONG time ago. Nebulous goals that work towards habit-forming are the most annoying, because you can never really check them off until you've conscientiously worked at them for a couple of months! And then it begins to look like a discouragingly long list of things that haven't been accomplished week after week after week...

Man, I've got only 341 days left on mine and I don't think I've even LOOKED at the list in the last year! Guess my love for lists doesn't really extend much beyong MAKING them!!!

pam said...

Good for you! I think so often we stress about things in life (whether it's on a list or not) that just don't matter that much. Being able to see the bigger picture, and what really matters, is so important.

PS. I'm still sad that I couldn't help you with crossing off the "Paradiso" one - maybe some day!

TammyIsBlessed said...

Excellent decision!!

I think we all get in "da funk" from time to time. Not saying I've got the solution down pat, or that I always practice what I'm about to preach, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with focusing on Jesus. Come to Jesus. Run to Jesus. Sing to Jesus. Dance for Jesus. Praise Jesus. Glorify Jesus. When we get our eyes off ourselves and onto Him, da funk has to leave.