I think it's safe to say that all of you have been aware things haven't been so light & fluffy around here lately. And it's not just here on the blog - it's like that in real life too. There haven't been very many times in the past quite awhile where I have felt real joy.
And I think that's very sad.
However...yesterday was different. I felt truly happy for the first time in I don't know how long! I hadn't realized how much I had missed laughing. Or even just smiling - real, genuine smiles.
God sent a blessing to me yesterday straight from Heaven. He smiled on me and reached down to remind me that joy still really does exist. And I grabbed on to that gift.
And I laughed. Really laughed.
And I smiled so big and so long that my cheeks were sore. And I wanted to shout it from the rooftops.
I felt happy. And less lonely than I have felt in a very long time. I felt hopeful. I felt alive. I felt needed.
I felt wonderful.
And it was all because of a random visit to someone's house to buy something I saw online - who was supposed to be a stranger - and ended up being a friend from long ago. Right in my very own town!! You could almost hear the 'click'. The one that was there all those years ago when we used to know each other.
God knew what I was needing at this point in my life. And He provided. Just like He provided for me already a few months ago with another re-connection with a friend from my past. And these aren't just acquaintance re-connections.
They're the friendships that you might go a long time without seeing each other - but when you do? You pick up right where you left off. No awkward silences - just constant chit-chat as you catch up with each other. Where you can relax and completely be yourself. The ones that make you wonder why you don't spend more time with each other 'cause it just fits.
God has also given me the gift of new connections too. Ones that were even initiated by the other party. For someone with the insecurities that I struggle with, that's a huge thing. To be sought out; to feel liked without obligation. He is showing me that I deserve to be surrounded by the kind of people who love me and want to spend time with me; that the ones who seem to not want to give me the time of day aren't worth my time or my frustration.
These are gifts that I treasure - friendship, love and laughter.