Monday, November 12, 2012

let it shine...please

The weeks and weeks of endless clouds are starting to cave in on me. Sure, we've had a few teeny-tiny glimpses of the sun here and there, but for the most part the weeks have brought with them clouds...

...and more clouds...

...and more clouds.

They s-t-r-e-t-c-h as far as the eye can see and I don't remember ever having a time as cloudy as this for as long of a time.

That combined with Daylight Savings Time, making the already gloomy sky dark by shortly after 5:00pm, is a recipe for disaster when it comes to me.

I thrive on sunshine and brightness and I wither under the grip of darkness.

Oh, but that's not all; there's more to the story. Everywhere I look there are people who are in need of desperate prayer for many various reasons. Many of my dearly loved ones are faced with tragedies, heartbreak and situations so unfair that I am beyond words.

As I try to pray for them, one at a time, I am completely overwhelmed by the monstrosity of it all. The Light is there...somewhere. I know it - but I can't feel it right now.

These days I wonder if the sun is a myth; if it truly is shining underneath those clouds somewhere or if it's gone for good - those brief glimpses of it being mirages in moments so desperate and extreme where the illusion is the only thing keeping me going.

But God isn't a myth. I don't doubt that He is always shining underneath the clouds of life. And even amidst all of the cloudiness that this world surrounds us with, the moments where I see glimpses of Him are not mirages. They are not false illusions; they are the real deal. And the hope that comes from those moments - however few and far between - has to be enough to fuel me until the next time.

It has to be.


Jen said...

I forced myself outside yesterday to shovel while the sun was shining...sure was good for the soul. With all the sickness that has invaded our house it sure can do a number on one's mental state. Praying for ya!

pam said...

Just checked the forecast and it's supposed to be sunny this week (hopefully that's true). :) I also need to see some sun!